miz_playa (miz_playa) wrote,
miz_playa
miz_playa

  • Mood:

Bird Shit, Condoms, and a man crying.


So today starts off lucky.

As usual.

Drive all the way up to fucking State for my one class and what the fuck happens?
Cancelled.

I wanted to punch the fucking door.


Good news?
Its fucking earth day.

And I don't really give a shit about earth day...but they handed me some free condoms and an energy drink so I am thinking that earth day is actually kind of cool now.


(Side note: WHAT IS THE BEST CONDOM BRAND?)

Lets see...
a bird shit in my eye yesterday.

Yes
my fucking eye.

Someone told me its good luck but I would like to see a bird fucking shit in their eye and then hear them say that again.


Then:
When I was writing my paper for journalism class I was supposed to do something called a Cultural Plunge. You go to a place you would normally never step foot into.


I wanted to go to a nude beach to see old balls but because weather was shit last week I never went and instead left it up to the last day to do my paper.


Then I realized I had to go into work early,
so I decided to do the only thing I could think of.

Make work awkward.

Super awkward.

So I sat at tables with people I didn't know.

Not something I haven't done before but it was still amusing to sit next to the two cops in uniform.

Who were pretty chill up until they said, "So if you do decide to go to the nude beach, we can be your protectors. Go naked and we can take photos.
"

Yeah.

And he was serious.

Whaaaat the fucccck.

I know I obviously look like a slut sitting down at their table but THEY ARE IN UNIFORM AND I TOLD THEM IT WAS FOR A FUCKING PAPER!

So after that mess.

I went to a table where a guy was sitting my himself. My bad.


He was totally chill when I said I was doing a food survey, and then I admitted I was just kidding (and so forth about my paper) around and he starts laughing.
Then he suddenly stops and leans forward, "want something really interesting to write about?"

No, not really.
"Um sure?"

"Why do WOMEN SLASH (/) GIRLFRIENDS always make men feel UNNEEDED?"

"Uh...are you asking me?"

Then he leans back, chuckles and says, "haha no I was just kidding.
"

See it could have ended there.

I mean I am at work.

Getting paid to do my homework (no I did not ask my manager) but instead I just had to ask, "Why did something happen?"

He starts going ON about his girlfriend.

Then this is where it gets so awkward I want to die.

He. starts. to. cry.

"It's not like I want her to even have sex with me! I just want to cuddle! She doesn't even have five minutes for me!"

Oh woah buddy.

Thank god when the waitress ratted me out to the manager in the back (bitch) and then I had to get up.

He grabbed my hand as I was leaving and said, "thank you so much for sitting down and talking to me! I hope I didn't get you in trouble! Can I come in again sometime and talk to you?"

HELL NO! "...suuuure! That would be fine!"
NO SALLY!
NO!
DUMB FUCKING-
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