miz_playa (miz_playa) wrote,

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Where The Razor Should [Not] Go When I am Procrastinating

I feel your heart pitter pattering already, only unlike earlier when I was wearing my snow coat and pants in the rain, its not due to heat.

Okay. *takes deep breath* I knew that there was a reason the song Do you really want to hurt me? froze my Ipod today.

I have tried multiple hair loss products but none of them seem to torture me quite as much as the waxing products or products with blades...oh wait thats all of them. As for Nair? Don't even GET ME STARTED on what it did to me.

I can handle a cut on my leg (which I do every single fucking time I shave due to being easily distracted by things like toilet paper) but a cut on the vagina is a severe NO NO. Yes I know you probably just had to reread that.

I normally don't do it.
And I am not normally COMPLETELY oblivious to the cut when it does happen...so when I put that product called Bikini Zone on (I like to just slather it on actually, like chocolate toppings on a cake with coconut filling) on my other mouth and start hissing under my breath with chants of Mother fucker oh my god shit shit shit oh my fucking VAGINA is DYING AND SCREAMING IN PAIN! in attempts of not waking up the family (because that conversation would be so GREAT), I knew I had a SLIGHT PROBLEM.

Thats why I jumped the fuck back in the shower wondering why it felt like I got hit with a fucking hockey puck on my vagina! Like grand slam hit, BOOM! Felt you right there in my vagina. Thanks. Well not IN but OUT... oh whatever.

I am starting to think that I am not that good at taking care of myself with things like this which is why I have made the decision to officially get a Brazilian Bikini Wax over the next month of break!!! Can you hear my screaming now? At least it won't be like when I accidently boiled the wax and then stuck it on...only to realize I didn't have anything to take it OFF with other than my hands...and as for the strips with wax already on them? I think my skin is still stuck to it, somewhere in some trash bin. Unless a bug ate it. Yeah yeah...Sally did you read the directions? OF COURSE I DID! ...after...ward...ish.

Well at least I will be awake to study now.
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